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Donovan: 2017 Four Continents fashion podiums

Nagasu, Reynolds earn top honors; Australian teams come up short
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Wenjing Sui and Cong Han won two gold medals at Four Continents -- one from the ISU for their skating and one from Sam Donovan for their short program outfits. -Getty Images

I don't know if everyone was trying to make up for the lack of Russian insanity, but Four Continents was LIT.

LADIES

This…this was an odd one, y'all. Due to the high percentage of costumes that (frankly) looked more like the first challenge "couture" results of your typical season of RuPaul's Drag Race (i.e. a lot of stretch lace, rhinestones and errant frippery), my ladies podium for Four Continents has a few more returning champions than I would have preferred. C'est la vie -- or, as they probably don't say in Korean, 셀라 생활.

GOLD - Mirai Nagasu (FS)

The best part of Mirai's performance reminded me of all great free skates, when the skater slowly realizes, "Holy whoa, this is going SO WELL." I have always loved this demure piece with Mirai's somber "The Winner Takes It All" routine, and I loved it that much more seeing her face light up at the end, knowing she turned it out.

I'm sentimental, y'all.

SILVER - Gabrielle Daleman (SP)

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THESE WERE COBRAS? Rhinestone-encrusted cobra pasties is one of the most ingenius ideas I've ever heard of (Janet Jackson, take notes), and my referring to them as such will probably not get past my editors. (Editor's note: Surprise, Sam!)

BRONZE - Kaetlyn Osmond (SP)

I'm never getting over how gorgeous this dress is. Katelyn should wear it everywhere, or give it to me so I can.

WEIR AWARD - Alaine Chartrand (SP)

It takes a special young lady to look at Lady Gaga's VMA meat dress and go, "This would go GREAT with my 'Lilies of the Valley' routine."

MEN'S

I had a bit more luck with the men's division, with the dudes turning out their Sunday's best in a seeming style showdown (given that the top four spots had essentially already been decided).

GOLD - Kevin Reynolds (FS)

I think even Nathan Chen would agree that he's accumulated enough gold medals this season that I can rightfully leave him off the podium here. That said, Reynolds always gives the sartorial goods. This punk rock take on French baroque royalty (while more subtle than his divine short program look) still manages to separate itself from the pack for its quiet abundance of detail, all stemming from the beautiful gold epaulet at the shoulder.

SILVER - Brendan Kerry (FS)

I don't think this one needs any extensive amount of explaining, but I do love the deconstructed royal sash and layered monochromatic color scheme. Also: HAIR.

BRONZE - Misha Ge (FS)

I'm on a super pseudo Baroque kick today, because I unabashedly love this simple-yet-vibrant gold and white color palette Misha's rocking. Design -- even figure skating design -- is sometimes at its best when pared down.

WEIR AWARD - Mark Webster (SP)

NO MORE TRON PAJAMAS EVERRRRRRRR.

PAIRS

GOLD - Wenjing Sui / Cong Han (SP)

I'm really in love with navy right now, so it should surprise exactly no one that these pseudo Paris couture-looking costumes are giving me all kinds of life.

SILVER - Xiaoyu Yu / Hao Zhang (FS)

These two are usually top of the heap for me, but I've handed them so many golds this season that the novelty is starting to wear thin. Still: classic, gorgeous, one of the season's best.

BRONZE - Lubov Iliushechkina / Dylan Moscovitch (FS)

If Iliushechkina were in the ladies category, she'd sweep every competition she entered, fashion wise (as long as Ashley Wagner was busy playing Mario Kart with Adam Rippon and his recovering broken foot). In any case, Moscovitch always brings down their final marks with his weird 90's discount caterer look.

WAGNER AWARD - Kyueun Kim / Alex Kang Chan Kam (FS)

I've decided the Wagner award is more about perseverance than its originally stated usage (costume improvements, which don't really exist), so I just want to give a shout-out to these two for representing their country with pride, even though Kyueun appears to have been injured and they finished in a distant 15th place. And obviously, they looked good while doing it.

WEIR AWARD - Ekaterina Alexandrovskaya / Harley Windsor (SP)

Neither of this team's wardrobe choices worked on any level. Their free skate costumes were oddly vulgar, and these short program looks could not be any more mismatched: Alexandrovskaya's Moscow club hostess get-up clashes with Windsor's hungover-morning-shift-at-the-Gap look. (Also: been there)

DANCE

Apparently, everyone at Four Continents wanted some sartorial hardware from me, because there were PANTS APLENTY. Alas, it kind of ruined the novelty, so here's your new lineup.

GOLD - Linshu Song / Zhuoming Sun (SD)

Who run the world? These two. Any routine that can make me shriek with delight (seriously, go watch their Beyoncé medley short dance in all its glory) while also maintaining a stylish and fashion-forward aesthetic? Sixes across the board. I love his blazer; I love her bling; I love that they love Beyoncé.

SILVER - Yura Min / Alexander Gamelin (SD)

These looks absolutely do not correlate with their music (they should have been dancing to Kelly Rowland's "Commander," just to keep my Destiny's Child fever alive), but these two have some serious chemistry, and their costuming reflects that. I love how they're both rocking a futuristic military vibe without every getting literal, and that their outfits call back to each other without lapsing into the easy trap of mirroring or mimicry.

But seriously, some Kelly Rowland up in here and they may have snatched a gold.

BRONZE - Kana Muramoto / Chris Reed (SD)

This is camp, perfected. These daring looks work with the music, each other and as standalone pieces. Yes, there's perhaps a touch too much going on, but it's figure skating. Get into it. (Also, I'm stealing this blazer.)

WEIR AWARD - Kimberley Hew-Low / Timothy McKernan (SD)

Speaking of waking up late and hungover for a Sunday morning shift at Gap, did McKernan's suitcase get put on the wrong flight?